The Needy Girl

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The Needy Girl, yes, I know her and I yes I will go on to discuss her.  She’s like a neon green sign that almost everyone (but herself) can identify.  I won’t mention her real name because I do maintain a noble air to un-noble people.  If you are out there Needy Girl please pipe out and listen.

Matter of fact, I possess a coherent argument as of why I want the needy mademoiselle  to VAMOOSE straight out of town….carrying nothing but her sleeping bag and toothbrush. In fact, send for your stuff once you reach your destination. I’m sure FedEX will be around….

So, here is my argument.

You know how you have that one best guy friend until…..

He gets a belle aka Fatal Attraction type!!!

Yes my friend has been taken away by the fatal love that now binds their loins. Not to say that I possess the jealousy similar to Oedipus but….I want that value of friendship that we used to have. It is common for men to fall out of step with their connections once they get a woman by their side. Yes I do comprende to the notion of relationships but frown at the allowance of the extreme isolation of two people.

Signs that she is a needy girl:

1. Cut him from his circle of friends (no game watching, no beers with the guys….)

2. Got to keep tabs on him (text messages, endless voice mails concealed as concerns)

3. Extreme jealousy when man talks to female friends.

4. Random trips to his place of work

5. Constantly talks about her life via the misery aisle (aka victimization)

6.  Bully: constantly puts him down to break him to her advantage.

7. Overly Sexual: harnesses his control and let his…ahem…member do the talking.

8. Constantly by his side…even @ guys night out!

9. Within a month she had all her personal items at his apartment (toothbrush, feminine items e.t.c)

If I had to write a letter to Needy Gurl, it would go like this:

Dear Needy Gurl:

You are one step away from a criminal offense.

Please leave town by night.

I hope my friend regains his senses before he battles Fatal Attraction the Sequel!

An online phd in psychology would be great for people who are great at helping their friends
with their relationships.

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